We all work hard everyday with the hopes that our efforts will result in something positive. As much as we would like to predict what that may look like; my recent experience showed me that’s not possible. I begin by sharing my recent experience at our son’s football game.
I consider myself a great step-mom. The kid shows up to the game saying his mom tried for 45 minutes to make his football pants/pads work. He gives me 3 pads and he’s wearing the pants. I need to figure out how to secure the pads to his pants before the game starts. I have less than 60 minutes to figure it out. I asked him if he had his belt. He said no. I am calling out for help to the football staff (3 other moms) to find something we can use to secure the pads to his pants. We were sending staff to the other side of the high school field to get a key to a storage unit to try and find a belt for this guy. We are tearing the place apart knowing the clock is ticking.
His mom strolls by and asks the boy, “What’s going on?”. He explains what me and the 3 other staffers are doing. Her reply, “You have the belt in your bag…” Needless to say, we all were not pleased to have been put through the stress unnecessarily.
It is game time. I walked up the bleachers with my three step-daughters. I gave the oldest girl the responsibility of picking our sitting spot. Her Mom is behind us but then takes the youngest a different way. I am sitting with 2 girls which one says, “Mom come sit with us”. Her response, “Don’t you want to sit in the middle?”. She sits down and ignores her child’s request. The child walks over to her and pats her leg as if to say, “Come on.” Nothing?!? She was not moving. Unbelievable! The look on that child’s face.
I moved to her selected location instead. It breaks my heart to hear little heart’s requests ignored. I asked the child, who happens to be 6, where would you like me to sit. She placed me directly to her left. Mom was to her right.
I know it’s not easy to oblige to a child’s request if it means you must let go of your selfish nature to do so. At this point is it necessary. Why? The children are asking over and over for their mom to make decisions based on their requests. Sadly, she continually declines. This isn’t an isolated event. Just last week if you read “Down in the Dumps” illustrates another occasion where Mom simply isn’t willing to honor the children’s wishes nor actively foster our extended family as requested by the children. It bears mentioning, the same child that asked her Mom to move this past Saturday is the same child who was rebuffed last week during football practice. Do you see a pattern?
Brings me to tonight and the unveiling of my reward. One of the twins says, “Mrs. Lennys”. I responded thinking the child was speaking to me. As it turns out, my oldest stepdaughter is playing school with her sisters. She is Mrs. Lennys (me). It brought me to tears. It was an unwitting surprise.
I hope to be the example of how simple life can be and the beauty of putting little lives first. Why did she choose to be me? A teacher? Does she see the genuine desire to love beyond comprehension? I can only hope the message is pure and good enough to be replicated. The children do come first.