Didn’t see it coming..


The world is moving so fast. I am hardly ever at a stopping point to tell about it. It’s been a while since I’ve updated you. So much has changed. Where do I begin? Despite of the appearance from previous posts, I never gave up my fight for my children.  * The courts didn’t take back their decision to unfairly disregard my parental rights for equitable parenting time with my children.  

* The court did modify child support and reset mobile access standards to the children which restored part of my faith in the system.  

What I didn’t see coming is what happened next.  

It was a Tuesday night during my husband’s nephew’s basketball game. I get a call from my ex-husband. It startled me because we never talk on the phone. I should clarify, we never talk period. If we exchange words, it is electronically and saved forever. It’s not pleasant but combative, abusive, judgmental, and unkind. It was also late in the evening and passed my girls’ bedtime. I knew it wasn’t them.  

He began by saying, “I have a proposition and it only applies to one of our two girls.” I braced for the worst, but what I got was unexpected. He is offered for our little one to live with me full time starting after the winter break. If you’ve been following my blog, you can imagine the thoughts running through my mind. I composed myself despite the numbing feeling I had throughout my body. “Of course,” I said, “Yes”. I know what you’re thinking. What is the reason behind the change? Me too. The only take away from the conversation is this would be a fresh start for her. According to him, “She will be happier with me. I know what’s going on in her little head.” 

I had eight days to enroll her in school before the winter break started. I waited until the last minute to change her round-trip flight to a one-way. A part of me was waiting for the follow up call; the other shoe to drop. Just kidding or I changed my mind. Who knows. I didn’t know what to expect to find out from her upon arrival from her dad’s house. What was the event? I had all sorts of craziness circling my mind.  

She arrived. We had a lovely holiday with all our children. Fast Forward. She’s here. I had a follow up conversation with daddy. He apologized for not giving me a lot of details for the decision he made. He said, “Bottom line, our daughter has a void for her mom I couldn’t fill. No matter what I tried. It just didn’t work. I want her to be happy”. This decision could have cost a lot less in money, pain, and suffering had the change happened years earlier.  

I am grateful for the change. We have a little bit of a scheduling nightmare. I am not complaining. It’s a fact. My daughter is happy and I am happy to report the changes. Hope this post encourages parents to keep the lines of communication open with your child. The courts don’t need to mandate a decision in the child’s best interest. My daughter is 11 years old. The heart wants what the heart wants. This also applies to the heart of a child.  

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